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americanpirate

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That's SO GAY [Dec. 4th, 2008|09:57 pm]
americanpirate
[Current Location |The State of Hate]
[mood |enragedenraged]

So, I just saw a commercial. An honest to goodness aired on the television prime-time paid for by some retarded community help group commercial.

Starring Wanda Sykes, no less.

And do you know what it told me to do? Or rather, stop doing? It told me to stop saying "That's so gay." and probably variants thereof, but it didn't specify them.

Hey, you know what?

THAT COMMERCIAL IS SO GAY.
And not just because it featured Wanda Sykes.

Children, I have no problem with people of any sexual preference. I love (hate) everyone equally. I don't care if you're straight, or bi, or gay... but I will not alter my verbiage for you or ANYONE. Do you know why?

Wanda Sykes, if you happen to stumble your drunken ass over here, you should pay close attention to this bit: The English language is a living language.

So let's discuss etymology for a moment.
The commercial asked me if I "realized what I was saying."
Why yes. Yes I do. Apparently, though, you don't. Gay (adj.) lighthearted and carefree, bright and showy. (Modern) of or relating to homosexuality.

So... let's talk about that word.
Gay used to mean happy, bright, showy, lighthearted, carefree... good things. Some time around the 1930s (and more readily established by the 1960s) it came to mean homosexual, in the same way that "queer" (or strange/weird) became synonymous with a specific sexual preference. Soon after (about the mid 1980s) it became popular to use it in a derogatory manner to mean "stupid," much like the word "retarded" which also originally meant slower or held back rather than mentally challenged.

So you know what Wanda? It isn't your word. Shut the hell up. If I was attacking your sexual preference I would be using homosexual in a derogatory context. "That movie last night was terrible. It was just so homosexual."

This is the point of the rant where I lose my cool and start saying things that younger eyes shouldn't be privy too. Please go away now.


YOU AREN'T THE QUEEN BITCH OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, SO STOP BEING SO GOD DAMNED RETARDED. DON'T TRY TO HALT THE GROWTH OF A LIVING LANGUAGE, YOU ONLY MAKE YOURSELF SOUND LIKE A DOUCHE WHEN YOU DO IT. I DON'T HAVE TO BE "POLITICALLY CORRECT" IF I DON'T WANT TO BE, SO SHUT YOUR GAY FACE.

*whew*

If you don't like it, that's fine! You don't have to like it! That's the beauty of free speech and free thought! If you want to get us straighties back, GO FOR IT. I wholeheartedly encourage it. HERE! I'LL HELP YOU!

"Ugh, that movie was terrible. It was WAY straight."
"Oh, that guy is DEFINITELY a breeder."
"Whatever, hetero."

See? It's easy and fun! And you know what? You won't see me making a commercial asking you to stop it. Let's put it this way... "meh" just got added to the dictionary. It's the beauty (and bane of us grammar nazis!) of a living language! You can't stop the progression of linguistic evolution, no matter how much you want to. So gay has 3 separate meanings now. 1 original, 2 evolved.

So go, and take your ad council with you. Linguistic evolution can't be halted only when it doesn't benefit you, so take a deep breath, and chill.

By the way? Your commercial is SO INCREDIBLY GAY.
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Always On [Sep. 7th, 2008|03:06 pm]
americanpirate
[Current Location |Uh... outside? Where else would I be after defenestration?]
[mood |Defenestrated]

Ahh... good old LiveJournal. It has been a while. Too long, apparently, as I am being nudged. Not much in the "new" department, but I shall attempt an update anyway.

Oh, I splurged on myself. Got meself a PS3. It's staring at me. From across the room. "Always On"© and all that. While it is the greatest new addition to my gainfully employed life, it has respectfully requested that our interactions remain personal. And, since it watches me sleep I am inclined to respect its wishes.

So instead, I will remark upon the strangest thought that crossed me head... today. I was eating a piece of watermelon. Not just any watermelon, but a seedless watermelon. Happily munching away knowing choking hazards had been all but removed, I was blissfully unaware of the danger that lurked in the next bite. A seed. And not one of those white albino "I wish I was a real seed" seeds, but a real, hard, black seed...

...

Don't look into that too much.

Anyway, rather than be sad or upset at the FALSE ADVERTISING of my treat of choice, I was overjoyed. Weird? Maybe. But that's just me... think about it. We spend years of research and genetic manipulation through cross pollination and selective breeding to create a Watermelon that will grow fruit without producing seeds... and despite all our work, nature still overcomes... and chips my tooth. Maybe not the nicest reminder, but a reminder nonetheless. Way to go, Nature. Remind us of our fleeting futility.

You going to pick up the dentist bill on this one?

No?

That's okay, I'm still rooting for you on this one. When we're all gone (in 2012) you'll keep chugging on. If not on this planet, than maybe another one. Humanity may not survive, but you will.... until the eventual heat death of the Universe, anyway. Then you're on your own, buck-o.
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Not so Bad at Being Good [Jul. 15th, 2008|07:49 pm]
americanpirate
[Current Location |New Apartment]
[mood |awakeawake]
[music |Avatar is on...]

I know, I know, it's been over 6 months since I posted anything last... been kinda busy. But the good news is, I have a job. That's right, I am officially gainfully employed. It feels kinda weird to be getting paid to program, instead of paying a college. But, whatever.

Not having homework to do also opens my free time slot. Which is nice. Feels like an upgrade. Of course, I'm spending my free time almost as fast as I get it. WHICH REMINDS ME.

Avatar.
The Last Airbender.
Nickelodeon Show.

Do you watch it?
You should.

I do.

Which brings me to the end of Book 3... SPOILERS ahead! YE BE WARNED!







I'm SERIOUS.








Okay, so Zuko finally joins Aang and his team. 'BOUT FRICKIN' TIME, YO. First episode? I was like, "There's a fire nation prince who isn't as bad as he seems." I mean, he hangs with Mako. Or, well, hung. It's much harder to listen to Uncle Iroh with some impersonator doing his voice. Mako died right after recording Tales of Bah Sing Seh. I doubt I came even CLOSE to spelling that correctly. Doesn't matter. Point is? I learned what I needed to know about life lessons from Mako/Iroh. Sometimes you have to look inside yourself past how you see yourself and ask yourself the big questions about yourself so that your true self can reveal itself. Or something like that.

RIP, Mako.

Anyway, new episode of Avatar is on. You should watch.



"Zuko, your going to get a kick out of this. It was in my sleeve the whole time!"
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Shameless Self Promotion [Dec. 4th, 2007|12:37 am]
americanpirate
[mood |chipperchipper]

So, the thing about this "Graduate School" is, I'm not doing it. Not right away at least. No, instead I am choosing to go out into the real world and attempt to experience life without school. Once I have discovered just how much it sucks I will invariably return to academia and never leave.

Until then, however, there remains the question of:
"Okay, now what am I going to do?"

And the answer my friends, is, I don't know. So, here it is. I'm looking for a job. Yes, that's right, a career field path to work in, as it were. So if you know of any companies looking to hire a computer science major, particularly in the area of web application development, it would be totally awesome if you could let me know. I'm especially looking for work in the North West, like, Washington state, but I'm not picky.

What else is the internet good for? Whoring yourself out.



"If I had any shame or self respect left, I'd be losing it right now."
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Mandatory Update [Sep. 16th, 2007|10:59 am]
americanpirate
Alive and living in an alive sort of way.
Nothing interesting to post, yet.

8 months till graduation... and, most likely, grad school.

For another 3 years.

Dang it.
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People should not be afraid of their Government... [Jun. 30th, 2007|12:10 pm]
americanpirate
...Government should be afraid of its people.

And it should be afraid.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/06/29/schneider.angry.voters/index.html

Not much else to say for the moment.
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PopLife: Cinema - Results [Jun. 16th, 2007|02:39 pm]
americanpirate
[Tags|]

RESULTS


Most Influential Films



Winners

1) V for Vendetta
2) Star Wars V: Empire Strikes Back
3) Schindler's List
4) AI
5) Hunt for Red October
6) Edward Scissorhands
7) Nightmare Before Christmas
8) Land Before Time

With One Vote Each

Equilibrium
A scanner Darkly
Blade Runner
Fight Club
1984
What Dreams May Come?
The Prestige
Memento
Solaris
Pulp Fiction
NightWatch/DayWatch
We Were Soldiers
Enemy at the Gates
Soylent Green
A Beautiful Mind
Stomp the Yard
Letters from Iwo Jima
Pan's Labyrinth
Twister
Hero
Crying Out Love in the Center of the Universe
Nicotina
Matando Cabos
Toy Story
Finding Nemo
Disturbia
School of Rock
Final Fantasy Advent Children
Les Miserables
The Crow
The Lord of the Rings
The Princess Bride
The Exorist
The Good, the Bad, the Ugly
The Last Samurai
Dances with Wolves
The Neverending Story
Braveheart
Legend
Soylent Green
Cabaret
Romeo and Juliet
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Hairspray
Fly Away Home
Labyrinth
Eternal Sunshine of the Spot.
Flight of the Dragons
Princess Mononoke
Johnny's Got a Gun
POTC: Black Pearl
Kill Bill
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Star Wars IV: A New Hope
Batman Returns
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Moonchild

I'll post another one soon, but it will work much better if we get more people weighing in with their ideas, so tell your friends. =)
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Statistics [May. 23rd, 2007|11:13 pm]
americanpirate
[mood |exhaustedexhausted]

According to Mark Twain there are 3 kinds of lies:
Lies
Damned Lies
And statistics.

This is the third kind. At least it would be if I had any statistics to give you. Instead, I give you nonsense. Why? Because I have to get up very early tomorrow and for the life of me I can't go to sleep. This angers, confuses, angers, confounds, angers, infuriates, angers, enrages, astounds, and angers me. My frustration seems to be melting into incomprehensible gobbledygook. Is that how you spell it? Is it even a word to be spelled? Google will know. One day, I will ask him. And he will not tell me because I owe him a dollar and he holds such grudges. I could repay him that dollar, but alas, he does not want a dollar, he wants his dollar. Do you see how irrational he is? Complete disregard for human safety. What the hell was I talking about. Notice that it is not a question. Not even rhetorical. I think it was meant to be, but the period seemed closer at the time, and now I've gone too far to go back and change it. Though, if I did change it, this rambling would make even less sense. Anyway, where was I? (That, as you see, was a question. I have neither rhyme nor reason to my madness. It just works out in the end.) Oh yeah. Google. Great search engine. Taking over the world. Was going to search for the correct spelling of gobbledygook. Thought better of it. Too tired. 95% of news anchors don't wear pants. You just can't tell because of the desk. I'm on to you, Channel 43 news. Staring at me. Giving me the "news at 11." I see what you're up to. You think you can fool me, but you can't.

Hey! My post title makes sense now! Pity the rest of it doesn't. I'm going to lie down and hit myself over the head repeatedly until I pass out. It's similar to sleep, just violent...er.

Oh man, sleep. How I miss you. One day, you and I will band together and take down the oppressive dictatorship of the alarm clock. Freedom! Freedom!
I think I just heard Mel Gibson scream "Lawsuit."
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THE Idea... [May. 2nd, 2007|11:30 pm]
americanpirate
[Tags|]
[mood |creative]

Finally, I have enough time to start put it into motion. I'm tentatively calling it popLife, and it's a study of cultural effects. Here's how it works. There's a topic of the month, for example, this month's topic is CINEMA. I will post 20 items which fall under this category, so for this month, I will list 20 films. They won't be in any particular order. The first person to read the post, posts a comment. Their comment will contain another 20 items which fall under this category, the first five of which must be from my list. Then the next person to post will list their 20, the first five of which must be from the previous person's list, and so on. Items from a previous person's list must be listed first and in bold.

FAQ:
Q: If I like more than 5 of the previous person's responses, can I list more than five?
A: Yes. Five is the minimum. If you totally agree with someone, you may copy and paste their list.

Q: I have 21 items. Can I post them all?
A: No. You must choose your top 20. That's the point.

Q: What happens when the month is over?
A: All the items will be tallied. The top 20 overall will be compiled into a definitive list.

Q: If I have another question, can I ask it in the comments?
A: Yes, but the answer will be added to the FAQ and the comment deleted.

Q: I really like Item X, should I put it in my list?
A: That depends. Is it life altering? I really liked Die Hard, but I wouldn't append it to my list of the top 20 life altering films.

Q: Should I list them in any specific order?
A: Nope. It doesn't matter, they're all weighted equally until the end.

Q: Should these items be life altering in a good way or bad way?
A: Well, it doesn't REALLY matter, but I would prefer it if they were good life altering.

Alright, so here's an example to clarify everything since I'm sure it's as clear as mud now.

Let's say the topic is cinema:
I list:
1.) Die Hard 1
2.) Tears of the Sun
3.) Spiderman 2
4.) Superman Returns
5.) Evil Dead
6.) Pirates of the Caribbean
7.) Blah 2.0
etc.

The next person might list:
1.) Die Hard 1
2.) Spiderman 2
3.) Pirates of the Caribbean
4.) Blah 2.0
5.) Evil Dead
6.) Spiderman 2

7.) Spiderman 1
8.) Batman Forever
etc.

I hope that clarifies what I'm trying to do... All right!



Topic 1: Top 20 Life Altering Films
1.) V for Vendetta
2.) Equilibrium
3.) A Scanner Darkly
4.) Blade Runner
5.) Fight Club
6.) 1984
7.) AI
8.) What Dreams May Come?
9.) The Prestige
10.) Memento
11.) Solaris
12.) Pulp Fiction
13.) NightWatch / DayWatch
14.) Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
15.) The Hunt for Red October
16.) We Were Soldiers
17.) Enemy at the Gates
18.) Soylent Green
19.) Schindler's List
20.) Edward Scissorhands

So, go for it! Don't defend your selections, don't criticize others'... just go for it!
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Another Random Thought [Apr. 29th, 2007|11:06 pm]
americanpirate
Random Thought.
That is all.



"Someday we're going to look back on this and we won't laugh. Because it won't be funny. But it's funny now. That's why we should laugh."
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